2004 NFL Draft Re-mix

19 June 2008
Here’s a look back at the 2004 NFL Draft to see who the teams would take if they could do it over knowing what they know today.  This was a lot of fun making.  I hope you enjoy it. 

#1 San Diego Chargers – Larry Fitzgerald
So you keep Drew Brees and add a two-time Pro Bowl WR.  There is no QB controversy and you add a WR with a pair of 100 catch, 1400 yard, 10 TD seasons.

#2 Oakland Raiders – Ben Roethlisberger
To say Robert Gallery has been a disappoinment is a major understatement.  If they could do it over again they would add Big Ben, who has the arm and th moxie to lead Oakland out of the doldrums.

#3 Arizona Cardinals – Jared Allen
The Cardinals can’t let a high-energy pass rushing phenom get away.  They grab the 2007 NFL Sack leader here.  He has 230 Tackles and 43 Sacks in four seasons. 

#4 New York Giants – Eli Manning
We’ll avoid all of the nonsense that went on with this draft day trade and simply keep Eli Manning in New York, where he led them to a Super Bowl last year.  He has 11.385 yards and 77 TDs in four seasons.

#5 Washington Redskins – Sean Taylor
You can’t predict the tragedy that took Sean Taylor’s life.  I won’t disparage his memory by replacing him.

#6 Cleveland Browns – Vince Wilfork
Perhaps nobody clogs up the middle quite as well as Wilfork (listed at 6’2″, 325 lbs).  He’s racked up 195 Tackles and 5.5 Sacks in his career.  The game is won in the trenches, and Wilfork provides an immediate upgrade.

#7 Detroit Lions – Will Smith
Instead of drafting another Wide Receiver the Lions go with the Fresh Prince instead.  In four years he has 220 Tackles and 33.5 Sacks.  He’s never had less than 7 Sacks in a year. 

#8 Atlanta Falcons – Philip Rivers
DeAngelo Hall has skills, but he was such a pain that they shipped him out of town.  With Michael Vick a few years away from the cooler, the Falcons would be wise to grab Philip Rivers, who’s been pretty solid for San Diego.  The 2006 Pro Bowler has 6540 yards and 43 TDs (to only 24 INTs) the past two years.  He has a 86.6 career passer rating and a 60.8% completion percentage.

#9 Jacksonville Jaguars – Roy Williams
The Jags brought in Jerry Porter and Troy Williamson this year so you know their situation needs addressing.  They turn to Roy Williams who has 244 catches for 3650 Yards and 28 TDs in four years.

#10 Houston Texans – Steven Jackson
Action Jackson could have possibly gone sooner, but when you can address QB and defensive line needs, you do so.  Jackson has 4249 Rushing Yards, 1586 Receiving Yards, and 36 TDS (30 Rushing) in four years.  He has three straight 1000 yard seasons despite being hampered with an injury last year.

#11 Pittsburgh Steelers – Willie Parker
I guess this time they’ll have to draft two-time Pro Bowler Fast Willie.  He’s had three straight 1200+ yard seasons.  For his career he has 4198 Yards and 19 TDs.   

#12 New York Jets – Bob Sanders
Jonathan Vilma was a pretty good selection for the Jets, but considering they already chose to go in a different direction, I’ll pick Defensive Player of the Year Bob Sanders to bring some toughness to the Jets D.  He’s not big, but he packs a punch.  He has fought through injuries to rack up 251 Tackles, 3.5 Sacks, and 4 INTs.  He’s earned All-Pro and Pro Bowl honors in 2005 & 2007.

#13 Buffalo Bills – Lee Evans
Although he’s inconsistent, can you imagine the Bills without him?  They would be even more hurting at WR.  He has 233 Receptions for 3727 Yards, and 29 TDs.  If only I can convince him that month is December.

#14 Chicago Bears – Tommie Harris
Chicago  sticks with their pick and takes two-time All-Pro (3 Pro Bowls) DT Tommie Harris.  When healthy he’s one of the best in the game.  He has 141 Tackles and 19.5 Sacks to date.

#15 Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jonathan Vilma
Putting Vilma alongside Derrick Brooks would be a lot of fun.  Vilma has 441 Tackles, including 173 in 2005 earning him a Pro Bowl nod, and 6 INTs. 

#16 Philadelphia Eagles – Shawn Andrews
Anytime you draft a quality Offensive Lineman, you hold on to him if at all possible.  The Eagles are following that mantra by sticking with All-Pro (2 Pro Bowls) G Shawn Andrews.  He’s too important to their offense to pass up.

#17 Denver Broncos – Shaun Phillips
Not that D.J. Willimas hasn’t worked out for the Broncos, but Shaun Phillips is a little more dynamic.  He has 195 Tackles, 31 Sacks, and 3 INTs.

#18 New Orleans Saints – Kellen Winslow
The Saints go with Pro Bowl TE Kellen Winslow for another weapon in their passing attack.  He has back-to-back 80 reception seasons, including leading all TEs with 89 in 2006, as well as averaged 990 receiving yards the past two seasons. 

#19 Miami Dolphins – Jason Peters
Miami grabs All-Pro Tackle Jason Peters to improve their offensive line. 

#20 Minnesota Vikings – Chris Cooley
Short of weapons in the passing game, Minnesota turns to All-Pro TE Chris Cooley.  He has three straight 700+ yard seasons and 231 catches for 2608 Yards and 27 TDs. 

#21 New England Patriots – DeAngelo Hall
Hall is very talented and a pain in the butt.  The Patriots have enough veterans to keep him in line.  Plus, when he’s winning, he won’t have as much reason to grumble.  The two-time Pro Bowler has 203 Tackles and 17 INTs already.

#22 Buffalo Bills – D.J. Williams
The Bills bolster their LB corps with D.J. Williams, who has 388 Tackles in four years.  He’s coming off a 141 Tackle season.

#23 Seattle Seahawks – Darnell Dockett
The Seahawks correct their mistake of drafting DT Marcus Tubbs by selecting Pro Bowl DT Darnell Dockett.  He has 180 Tackles and 15 Sacks.  He had 9 Sacks last year to earn the Pro Bowl nod.

#24 St. Louis Rams – Julius Jones
With Steven Jackson long off the board, the Rams turn to Julius Jones to compliment Marshall Faulk.  He had 800+ rushing yards in his first three years in the league, and a total of 3484 with 18 TDs.  He’s also added 672 receiving yards.

#25 Green Bay Packers – Nathan Vasher
Pro Bowl CB Vasher represents and upgrade over Ahmad Carroll for the Packers.   He has 130 Tackles and 17 INTs.

#26 Cincinnati Bengals – Gibril Wilson
The Bengals turn to Safety Gibril Wilson, who has 365 Tackles, 6 Sacks, and 11 INTs.  He’s has averaged over 100 Tackles the past three years.

#27 Houston Texans – Matt Schaub
The Texans grab Matt Schaub since he’s their starting QB now.  He passed for 2241 Yards and 9 TDs in his first year starting, but was derailed by injuries.  He did have a Passer Rating of 87.2 and a 66.4% completion rate.

#28 Carolina Panthers – Chris Gamble
The Panthers stick with their selection of CB Chris Gamble.  He has 264 Tackles and 17 INTs.

#29 Atlanta Falcons – Dunta Robinson
Since they didn’t get DeAngelo Hall, the Falcons instead turn to Dunta Robinson, who had 80+ Tackles his first three years in the league.  He has 294 Tackles and 11 INTs. 

#30 Detroit Lions – Jerricho Cotchery
It wouldn’t be the Lions if they didn’t take a WR in the first round.  Cotchery has back-to-back 82 reception seasons and 2091 Yards over that two year span.  Considering Roy Williams has 2146 Yards, this isn’t that big of a downgrade.

#31 San Francisco 49ers – Stuart Schweigert
The 49ers bolster their secondary by adding Safety Schweigert.  He has 316 Tackles and 4 INTs. 

#32 New England Patriots – Madieu Williams
The Patriots make a second quality addition to their secondary with Safety Madieu Williams.  He has 290 Tackles, 4 Sacks, and 9 INTs.

Previous Re-Mixes
1998 Re-mix
1999 Re-mix
2000 Re-mix
2001 Re-mix
2002 Re-mix
2003 Re-mix

Friday Tidbits 6/13/08

13 June 2008

Paul Pierce looked just fine helping the Celtics jump out to a 2-0 lead.  Kobe was Kobe again as the Lakrs took Game 3.  The Celtics mounted an impressive comeback to take Game 4 and a commanding 3-1 series lead.  Rudy Fernandez will likely leave the Spanish League to join the Blazers next  year.  Doug Collins will not coach the Bulls.  Vinny Del Negro will.  Terry Porter will be the new Phoenix Coach.  Yao Ming is donating $2 million to Chinese earthquake victims.  Gilbert Arenas opted out of the last year of his contract.  Indiana hired Sam Perkins as a mentor.  David Stern came off like a pompous ass when discussing the Tim Doneghy playoff fixing allegations.

Ken Griffey, Jr. hit HR #600.  Coco Crisp, Jon Lester, Sean Casey, James Shields, Johnny Gomes, Edwin Jackson, Carl Crawford, and Akinori Iwamura were suspended for the Red Sox-Rays brawl.  Hiroki Kuroda threw a Complete Game Shutout.  The Dodgers acquired Angel Berroa from the Royals for a Minor Leaguer.  Brandon Webb picked up his 11th Win of the year.  Paul Byrd won his 100th game the same night the Indians beat Detroit for the 1000th time. The Rangers designated Sidney Ponson despite his success (4-1, 3.88 ERA).  Joba looked a little better in his second start.  The M’s gave hitting coach Jeff Pentland the boot.  Cliff Lee became the first ten game winner in the AL.  Adam Wainwright and Ryan Church landed on the DL.  Alfonso Soriano, Victor Martinez, and Albert Pujols will be out a few weeks.  Bartolo Colon won his 150th career game.  Jake Peavy returned from the DL in dominating fashion.

Darren McFadden signed a six-year, $60 million contract before taking one handoff.  Steroids dealer David Jacobs died in a murder-suicide.  Odell Thurman will miss yet another year to suspension.  Michael Stahan has called it a career.  He was pretty good.  Marcus Robinson retired as well.  He wasn’t very good.  Speaking of not very good, the Bears cut Cedric Benson.  McNabb sat out of practice because of a sore shoulder.  LeCharles Bentley was granted his release from the Browns.  He’ll try and catch on with another team.  T.O. will be tested more frequently for PEDs as he missed a drug test.  Jonathan Ogden is retiring.  Plaxico Burress is sitting out because of a contract dispute.  The Saints signed DE Will Smith to the other Will Smith type money.  His deal was for six years and $70 million.  Cincy signed DT Domata Peko to a five-year, $29 million extension.  Chicago’s Adrian Peterson had an appendectomy.  He still could probably run tougher than Cedric Bustson.

Dominik Hasek is hanging up his skates.  Ron Wilson will be Toronto’s next Coach.  The Stanley Cup got a dent at Chris Chelios’ bar.  Montreal signed F Maxim Lapierre to a two-year deal.  Vancouver F Trevor Linden retired.  Detroit signed Coach Mike Babcock to a three-year extension.  Todd McLellan will be San Jose’s Coach.  Dallas D Matthias Norstrom is calling it quits.  The LA Kings kicked Coach Marc Crawford to the curb.

Georgia FB Brannan Southerland will miss the start of the season due to a foot injury.  Arkansas kicked LB Freddie Fairchild to the curb.  Bill Curry will be Georgia State’s first football Coach.
North Carolina’s Ty Lawson was pinched for driving drunk.  Pitt Assistant Coach Orlando Antigua is headed to Memphis.  Jordan Crawford is leaving Indiana.  UCLA’s Josh Shipp withdrew his name from the NBA Draft.  Bob Burton signed a five-year extension with Cal State Fullerton.

Big Brown didn’t win the Triple Crown.
Justin Leonard won the Stanford St. Jude Championship.  The U.S. Open is this weekend.   Tiger Woods returned with a one over par.
Kasey Kahne won the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Pocono Raceway.  Brad Keselowski took home the NASCAR Nationwide Series at Nashville Superspeedway.
Rafael Nadal beat Roger Federer to win his fourth straight French Open.
That concludes the Tidbits. As always feel free to add any stories you liked this week in sports or discuss any of the stories I mentioned.
Thanks again for supporting my site. Be sure to check out my links for some great sites.

Friday Tidbits 6/6/08

6 June 2008

Sorry about missing the Tidbits last week.  I was in the hospital as my wife had our second son (Owen).  I’m still catching up and adjusting so the tidbits won’t be quite as inclusive just yet. 

The Celtics advanced to the NBA Finals to meet up with the Lakers.  Orlando gave a contract extension to GM Otis Smith.  Detroit gave Flip Saunders the boot.  All he did was bring them to the Conference Finals year after year.  Michael Curry will replace him.  The Bulls and Miami are talking about a possible trade involving Dwayne Wade.  Kevin Garnett started early.  Paul Pierce shook off an injurty to finish strong and the Celtics took Game 1 of the NBA Finals.  Judging by Phil Jackson’s success when his team takes a series’ opener, this was pretty much a must-win for the C’s.

The Red Wings took Game 4 and a 3-1 series lead over Pittsburgh.  Pittsburgh stayed alive in a triple-overtime thriller in Game 5.  Tampa Bay fired Coach John Tortorella.  Detroit brought Lord Stanley back to Hockeytown.  Carolina D Glen Wesley is calling it quits after 20 years.  The ratings were pretty good for the Stanley Cup.

Manny Ramirez hit his 500th HR.  Ken Griffey, Jr. hit #599.  Johan Santana won his 100th career game.  Mike Lieberthal retired.  Mark Prior might as well retire as he’s being shut down once again because of a bum shoulder.  Big Papi landed on the DL.  Casey Blake drove in 7 Runs.  Joe Mauer finally hit a HR.  John Smoltz is back.  Hey Hank, Joba Chamberlain didn’t sparkle in his first career start.  Can they blame Joe Torre?  Randy Johnson surpassed Roger Clemens for second on the all-time strikeout list.  Matt Kemp (4 games) and Yorvit Torrealba (3 games) were slapped with suspensions for fighting.  John Smoltz is done for the year.  Jake Peavy and Curt Schilling are working on their comebacks.  The White Sox have become a boring Soap Opera.  Chipper Jones hit HR #400.  Tampa chose SS Tim Beckham with the first pick in the baseball draft.  Michael Young extended his hitting streak to 21.  His teammate, Ian Kinsler, saw his end at 19.

Denver kicked Travis Henry to the curb.  Washington signed S Stuart Schweigert.  San Diego signed Jeremy Newberry.  T.O. got paid.  Houston gave GM Rick Smith a four-year extension.  David Jacobs, a convicted steroids dealer who recently named NFL names, was found shot dead in his home.  Asante Samuel pulled a hamstring.  It shouldn’t affect his play, but with the kind of money he’s getting it’s worth reporting.  Jerramy Stevens was suspended two games next year for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy.  He’s a broken record.

Notre Dame’s Athletic Director Kevin White is heading to Duke.  Syracuse suspended WR Mike Williams because of academics.  Pitt’s Maurice Williams is in the same boat.  Georgia DE Jeremy Lomax has been arrested on a weapons charge.

Jerrett Smith is transferring from Michigan to Grand Valley State.

Kenny Perry won golf’s Memorial championship at 8 under par.  Justin Rose, Mike Weir, Jerry Kelly, and Matthew Goggin finished two strokes back.

Kyle Busch took home the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Dover International Speedway.  Denny Hamlin won Saturday’s NASCAR Nationwide Series at Dover International Speedway. 

That concludes the Tidbits. As always feel free to add any stories you liked this week in sports or discuss any of the stories I mentioned. Thanks again for supporting my blog. Be sure to check out My Friends’ sites to your right.

1998 NFL Draft Re-mix

5 June 2008
Here’s a look back at the 1998 NFL Draft to see who the teams would take if they could do it over knowing what they know today.  This was a lot of fun making.  I hope you enjoy it. 

#1 Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning
I’m not going to bore you with an explanation.  You know why this pick sticks.

#2 San Diego Chargers – Randy Moss
They’ll have to figure out somebody to throw the ball to Moss, but the four-time All-Pro/six-time Pro Bowler with 12,193 receiving yards and 124 TDs is too good to pass up.  I’ll bet my newborn that they wouldn’t take Ryan Leaf again.

#3 Arizona Cardinals – Alan Faneca
Arizona has been so hideous.  Their selection of Andre Wadsworth was no different.  If they could do it over they’d grab the five-time All-Pro/seven-time Pro Bowl Guard.

#4 Oakland Raiders – Olin Kreutz
Not that Charles Woodson was bad, but adding a five-time All-Pro/six-time Pro Bowl Center is a no-brainer.

#5 Chicago Bears – Fred Taylor
Curtis Enis was a wasted pick for the Bears.  If they could do it over, they would grab Fred Taylor instead.  Ahman Green has also been a good back, but Fred has more good years.  He made his first Pro Bowl last year, and has amassed 10,715 yards and 61 TDs.

#6 St. Louis Rams – Leonard Little
If they did it all over they would spend their first pick on Little (they got him in the third round pick) instead of Grant Winstrom.  Little has 349 tackles and 74 Sacks.  He has four double-digit Sack seasons to his credit.  While we’re going back in time, maybe we can give him a designated driver that fateful night so he doesn’t kill anybody.

#7 New Orleans Saints – Flozell Adams
Kyle Turley was a decent selection at Tackle, but Flozell (All-Pro, four Pro Bowls) would have been a better one.

#8 Dallas Cowboys – Ahman Green
Let’s give the Cowboys some offensive firepower with the two-time All-Pro/four-time Pro Bowl RB.  Ahman has 8,751 rushing yards and 56 TDs to go along with 2,833 receiving yards and 14 TDs.

#9 Jacksonville Jaguars – Keith Brooking
The Jags go with two-time All-Pro/five-time Pro Bowl LB Keith Brooking, who has 1039 tackles, 17 Sacks, and 12 INTs.  He’s recorded 100+ tackles in each of the past seven seasons.

#10 Baltimore Ravens – Charles Woodson
The rich get richer by acquiring the three-time All-Pro/four-time Pro Bowl CB.   The Heisman winner has 379 tackles and 29 INTs.  He’s an upgrade over their original selection of Duane Starks.

#11 Philadelphia Eagles – Tra Thomas
When you select a Tackle that earns two All-Pro nods to go along with three Pro Bowl trips, you stand pat.

#12 Atlanta Falcons – Takeo Spikes
So Keith Brooking doesn’t make it to the Falcons.  Instead of cyring in their Corn Flakes they just select the twice All-Pro & Pro Bowl LB Takeo Spikes to fill his shoes.  Spikes has 969 tackles, 22.5 Sacks, and 12 INTs.  He opened his career with seven straight 100 tackle seasons.  OK, the sevent was actually 99, but close enough.

#13 Cincinnati Bengals – Jeremiah Trotter
So Spikes gets swiped under the Bengals nose forcing them to turn to the two-time All-Pro/four-time Pro Bowl Trotter.  He has 886 tackles, 12.5 Sacks, and 9 INTs.  He reached 100+ tackles six times.

#14 Carolina Panthers – Hines Ward
Carolina would be tickled pink with the three-time All-Pro/four-time Pro Bowl no-nonsense WR.  Ward has 8,737 yards and 65 TDs. 

#15 Seattle Seahawks – Matt Hasselbeck
To get their franchise QB the Seahwaks will have to pick him here instead of with the 187th pick, which is where they actually got him.  Hasselbeck has 22,333 career yards, 142 TDs to 84 INTs, a 60.7 completion percentage, and a 86.2 passer rating.  He’s been named an All-Pro once and a Pro Bowler three times.

#16 Tennessee Titans – Patrick Surtain
Tennessee opts to add the two-time All-Pro/three-time Pro Bowl CB Surtain with this pick.  He has 536 tackles and 36 INTs.

#17 Cincinnati Bengals – Greg Ellis
They’ve added a top flight LB so why not pair him with a solid DE.  The Pro Bowler has 468 tackles and 69 Sacks.  He’s had seven or more Sacks six times.

#18 New England Patriots – Matt Birk
In what appears to be a match made in heaven, the two-time All-Pro/six-time Pro Bowl Center out of Harvard goes to the Patriots.  He pays a few more dividends than Robert Edwards, although in Edwards’ defense he got hurt during a Pro Bowl sand football game.

#19 Green Bay Packers – Vonnie Holliday
I’ll let the Packers keep their pick.  Vonnie has 462 tackles and 51.5 Sacks.

#20 Detroit Lions – Fred Beasley
In a desperate attempt to keep Barry Sanders from retiring the Lions add two-time All-Pro/Pro Bowl FB Beasely to the mix.  His numbers aren’t sexy, but he could make life a little easier on one of the best RBs to ever step foot on a football field.

#21 Minnesota Vikings – Jeremy Newberry
This has to be one of the best classes of Centers the NFL has ever seen with Kreutz, Birk and Newberry.  The All-Pro/two-time Pro Bowl Newberry obviously doesn’t fill the void that not getting Randy Moss left, but he does make up for missing out on Birk.

#22 New England Patriots – Donovin Darius
Instead of taking the RB turned Safety Tebucky Jones (out of Syracuse), the Pats instead select another Syracuse Safey in Donovin Darius.  The hard-hitting S has 635 tackles and 14 INTs.

#23 Oakland Raiders – Kyle Turley
The Raiders go with Turley at Tackle instead of Mo Collins.  If ever a player was a perfect fit for Oakland, Turley may be it.

#24 New York Giants – Lance Schulters
The G-Men grab Al-Pro/Pro Bowl Safety Lance Schulters (instead of S Shaun Williams).  Schulters has 554 tackles and 19 INTs.

#25 Jacksonville Jaguars – Corey Chavous
With Darius gone the Jags turn to Pro Bowler Corey Chavous.  He had 671 tackles and 20 Sacks.  There were some quality safeties in this draft.

#26 Pittsburgh Steelers – Samari Rolle
The Steelers get screwed the most losing Faneca and Hines Ward, but adding All-Pro/Pro Bowl CB Samari Rolle helps.  Rolle has 416 tackles and 28 INTs.

#27 Kansas City Chiefs – Grant Wistrom
The Chief bolster their pass rush with DE Grant Wistrom.  He has 416 tackles and 53 Sacks. 

#28 San Francisco 49ers – Duane Starks
R.W. McQuarters was a decent pick, but Starks has perhaps been slightly better.  The CB has 356 tackles and 25 INTs.

#29 Miami Dolphins – Michael Pittman
Pittman isn’t a home run, but he’s a heck of an upgrade over John Avery.  Pittman has 5307 rushing yards, 3400 receiving yards and 29 combined TDs. 

#30 Denver Broncos – Joe Jurevicius
Joe hasn’t been terrific, but after Moss and Hines Ward he’s probably the next best WR in this receiver-starved draft.  Joe has 4,119 yards and 29 TDs.

Previous Re-Mixes
1999 Re-mix
2000 Re-mix
2001 Re-mix
2002 Re-mix
2003 Re-mix

Here’s an oldie but goodie from my Sporting News vault.  This is a spoof so I hope nobody takes offense.

We’ve spotlighted a couple of criminals (Tyson and O.J.) the last two episodes of TSN Cribs so why not continue the trend? This week we’re dropping in on Michael Vick aka Ron Mexico. There is a barbed wire fence around the property. Once we get by the security check in there is a long walk up to the house. It is a beautiful house no doubt.

Opening the front door and a green cloud rushes out of the house. There is a distinct odor in the house. It takes me back to some college friend’s door rooms. The chandelier, I’m told, is made out of diamonds. Vick keeps a pair of crutches near the door in case he gets hurt. There is no need for an umbrella because Vick is so fast and elusive that he can go to the mailbox in a downpour and not get a drop of rain on him.

Let’s check out the living room. There is a massive plasma TV. “Only the best, baby!” Hi Mike. I didn’t know you’d be here today. “Yeah, just going over my playbook while watching some game film.” Excuse me Mike, but the playbook is upside down. “Oh.” That’s a fancy water bottle you have there Mike. Mind if I take a look at it. “There’s nothing in there man. Just stay out of that secret compartment.” Right. Don’t worry I won’t take your umm…jewelry. Mind if we check out the kitchen? “Nah, let’s take the tour.”

The kitchen is amazing. Marble floors. Marble counters. Another diamond chandelier. “Hand off my cookies man”. Huh? “Those are my cookies. Oooh, Cheetos.” There fridge is stocked with Cristal, Powerade, Coca-Cola and Heineken. The pantry is loaded with Mike’s cookies, Funions, Doritos, and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. “I better drink up the Powerade and Coke while it’s still free. They are talking about squashing my endorsement deal. It’s a bunch of crap.” Mike your hands are Cheetos orange. Mike whistles and calls for his dog Brutus. His three-legged dog limps in and licks Mike’s hands clean. “All better”.

Let’s check out the rec room. On the walls in the hallway are pictures of Mike from his Virginia Tech days, as well as current ones with the Falcons and Pro Bowl pics. Mike has a beautiful pool table and his own twenty seat movie theater. You can hear the treadmill going in a back room. Is Marcus or Aaron Brooks over working out? “Maybe” says Mike. Peaking in the room I don’t see Mike’s brother or cousin. Instead I see a pit bull running on it. It shoots a look at me and shows me it’s teeth. Alrighty then, I’ll close the door.

On to Mike’s bedroom. “This is where the true magic happens. All of the shorties in Atlanta want to be up in this bed. Gotta love the silk sheets and the mirrors on the ceiling.” There is a bottle of ointment on the nightstand. “You never know when something is going to flare up.” Nice bong on your dresser Mike. “Uh, umm, that’s not a bong. That’s a vase. I like to, ahh, set the mood, um, um when I have a lady over.” Right Mike. Right.

Can we take a look outside? Sure. There is a Bentley, a Rolls Royce, a Ferrari, a Hummer, and a BMW parked in his garage out back. “I call that the showroom. Those are my babies.” There are a couple of real beauties in the pool. “You like that, right?” I give Mike a wry smile. It looks like they are setting up for a concert. “Yeah, it’s gonna be a busy one here tonight. Ludacris is dropping over to do a show for my friends. It’s gonna be popping tonight.” There is a big barn in the back. What do you keep in there Mike? “There’s not dogs in there. Why do you keep saying dogs? Quit asking about dogs. All of my dogs are pets. That’s it.” Easy Mike. I didn’t say anything about dogs. I was just asking about the barn. “There aren’t stadium seats in there. There is no ring in there. Can you drop it?” OK Mike. Sorry I asked. That’s an interesting incinerator. Do you use that to burn trash? “Of course I do. What else would I use it for? It’s not like it’s there to incinerate dead dogs. I’m not trying to hide evidence.” Of course not Mike. “Yo, yo. What’s up CP?” Clinton Portis has stopped over. “What’s up Mike? I thought I’d come over a little early. I brought $30 large. It’s gonna be on tonight. I got my favorite dog picked out?” Are you going to the dog tracks Clinton? “What? No.” Mike shoots CP a look. “Oh yeah, right. Yeah, dog tracks. That’s exactly what I’m doing. What did you think I was talking about? I surely wasn’t talking about a dog fight.” Of course not Clinton.

Well, I’m gonna get out of here before I become an accomplice. Have fun with the concert and at the “dog tracks”. Until next time, this is TSN Cribs.

Past Cribs
John Madden
Dick Vitale
Pete Rose
Tonya Harding
Pacman Jones 
Wilt Chamberlain     
ick Saban 
Barry Bonds
Kevin Garnett
Mike Tyson  
O.J. Simpson 

 | Posted by | Categories: NFL | Tagged: Atlanta Falcons, Michael Vick |

Here’s an oldie but goodie from my Sporting News vault.  It’s a spoof so I hope nobody is offended.

OK, this time I’m not messing around. We are entering the house of a double murderer so I’m locked an loaded. I’m packing a Dirty Harry .44 Magnum so I feel a little secure in O.J. Simpson’s house. O.J. moved to Florida so he can avoid paying Fred Goldman the money he’s owed in the civil suit. He better not slip up again though as Florida will throw his butt on death row.

In the foyer O.J. has two large murals of himself. One is O.J. in his USC jersey. The other he’s wearing Jason’s hockey mask. I’m just playing, he’s in his Bills jersey. When I close the front door it sounds like a prison door being shut. It sends chills down your spine. The house is not well lit. I guess O.J. doesn’t want his neighbors to know what he’s up to.

O.J. has turned the living room into an inventory room for the crap his hocking. He has an ample supply of his book “If I Did It”, a DVD of his “Juiced with O.J. Simpson” Pay-per-view, autographs of his mugshot, and replicas of his famous glove. He also is offering $10 DVDs of The Naked Gun. On the TV, O.J. is running a loop of his famous Hertz car rental commercial. He often sits in his recliner and thinks back to when America loved him.

The kitchen is spotless except for the large cutting board on the counter. Again I feel chills down my spine. O.J. has several large butcher knives prominently on display. In the fridge is some leftover mystery meat and several cartons of Orange Juice. He has taped pictures of himself on the cartons. There is a hand-written note near the phone from Kato Kaelin. Kato is asking to move in with O.J. because he’s tired of being out of the spotlight.

Up the stairs leads to O.J.’s trophy room. After the trial, you almost forget how good of an athlete he actually was. He has awards dating back from his high school days up until the replica HOF bust he got in 1986. He has a plaque commemorating his 2000 season. In place of his Heisman Trophy, O.J. has a replica made out of clay. It’s not quite the same, but O.J. pretends it is. Are you gonna argue with him? Me neither.

O.J. has a King bed with rough linens. He got used to it in jail, and used it ever since. He has portraits of Robert Shapiro, Marcia Clark, and the late Johnnie Cochran. He has his famous leather gloves on the wall with “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit” stenciled below it. O.J. also has a large hunter knife on his nightstand. That was the last straw. I’m getting out of here.

Heading out the back door you’ll see O.J.’s white Ford Bronco. In the distance O.J. is calling out “hello”. Well, that’s a wrap. I gotta roll. Until next time, this is TSN Cribs.

Past Cribs
John Madden
Dick Vitale
Pete Rose
Tonya Harding
Pacman Jones 
Wilt Chamberlain     
ick Saban 
Barry Bonds
Kevin Garnett
Mike Tyson

 | Posted by | Categories: NFL | Tagged: Buffalo Bills, NFL, O.J. Simpson, San Francisco 49ers |

1999 NFL Draft Re-mix

24 May 2008

Here’s a look back at the 1999 to see who the teams would take if they could do it over knowing what they know today.  This was a lot of fun making.  I hope you enjoy it. 

P.S.  I hope nobody gets that Prince song stuck in their head.

#1 Cleveland Browns – Donovan McNabb
Yeah, Tim Couch didn’t exactly work out.  McNabb has had his ups and downs, but the five-time Pro Bowler has had more ups.  He’s thrown for over 25,000 yards, 171 TDs (to 79 INTs), ran for 24 TDs, completed 58.7% of his passes and has a passer rating of 85.8.

#2 Philadelphia Eagles – Champ Bailey Guest Pick – JP)
“The Eagles select this 8x Pro Bowl shutdown cornerback who quarterbacks tend to avoid being that he has 42 career INTS.”

#3 Cincinnati Bengals – Al Wilson
I was tempted to take Torry Holt or Edge, but offense hasn’t been Cincy’s problem.  To solve some defensive woes the Bengals grab the five-time Pro Bowl (two-time All-Pro) LB with 723 tackles, 21.5 Sacks, and 5 INTs.

#4 Indianapolis Colts – Edgerrin James
This pick worked out pretty well for the Colts so why mess with it?  Edge was named All-Pro/Pro Bowler four times.  He has 11,607 career rushing yards with 77 TDs and 3260 receiving yards with 11 TDs. Plus, he made life easier for Peyton.

#5 New Orlenas Saints – Torry Holt
At least Holt’s career didn’t go “Up in Smoke” like their original draft pick.  He’s a two-time All-Pro and seven-time Pro Bowler.  He has 805 receptions for 11,864 yards, and 71 TDs.

#6 St. Louis Rams – Donald Driver
With Holt gone, the “Greatest Show on Turf” would need a replacement.  Donald Driver is the next best option.  He’s a three-time Pro Bowler with 503 receptions for 6977 yards, and 38 TDs.

#7 Washington Redskins – Chris McAllister
With Champ Bailey gone, the ‘Skins go with the next best thing in three-time Pro Bowler Chris McAllister.  He has 411 tackles and 23 INTs in his career.  He’s not the Champ, but he’s not a bad challenger. 

#8 Arizona Cardinals – Patrick Kerney
Instead of the steroid-loving bodybuilding WR David Boston, the Cards would go with a DE that scares QBs instead.  He has 346 Tackles, 72.5 Sacks, and 3 INTs while earning two All-Pro/Pro Bowl nods.

#9 Detroits Lions – Daunte Culpepper
Culpepper has had some highs (two-time All-Pro, three-time Pro Bowler) and lows (Bang Boat), but he would give the Lions something they’ve lacked for years…a skilled QB.  Pep has passed for 22422 Yards and 142 TDs (94 INTs) with a 63.8% completion percentage and a 89.9 passer rating.

#10 Baltimore Ravens – Dre Bly
With McAllister off the board, the Ravens opt for the next best CB in Bly.  He has 416 Tackles to go along with his 38 career INTs.  He’s been named to two Pro Bowls.

#11 Minnesota Vikings – Jevon Kearse
With Culpepper gone and a weak QB crop (Aaron Brooks is the next best thing), the Vikings go with “The Freak”.  The two-time All-Pro and three-time Pro Bowler has 278 tackles and 69.5 Sacks.  He was especially nasty his first three years recording 36 Sacks.

#12 Chicago Bears – Ricky Williams
Hear me out.  Ricky is a gifted Running Back.  He ran for 6354 yards and 41 TDs to go along with 1806 receiving yards and 4 TDs in his first five seasons.  That’s an average of 1632 yards and 9 TDs.  Sure he flaked out, but getting five great seasons from a RB is pretty good.  Plus, playing for the Bears fans may have inspired him to avoid his temptations.  If not, you still get that ground game cooking for five years.

#13 Pittsburgh Steelers – Joey Porter
The Steelers originally got Joey with the 73rd pick, but if they want the three-time All-Pro and Pro Bowler they would have to take him here.  Not that their original pick of Troy Edwards did much anyway.  Talent-wise I probably would have went with Porter for Cincy, but they don’t need any more troubled athletes.  Porter has 533 Tackles, 65.5 Sacks, and 12 INTs in his career. 

#14 Kansas City Chiefs – Jon Jansen
John Tait is pretty good, but I think Jansen is a little better Tackle.  When he stays healthy he’s one of the better offensive lineman in the game. 

#15 Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Mike Rucker
Instead of Booger McFarland (must have been a huge Revenge of the Nerd fan), the Bucs would great Mike Rucker, who has 421 tackles and 55.5 Sacks. He made one Pro Bowl team.

#16 Tennessee Titans – Rod Coleman
Tennessee turns to Pro Bowler Rod Coleman to fill the void of Jevon Kearse.  The big fella has 271 tackles and 58.5 Sacks.  He was also named to one Pro Bowl.

#17 New England Patriots – Damien Woody
The Pro Bowl offensive lineman can play all three positions and helped New England to two Super Bowl wins.  If they could do it over, they probably wouldn’t change.

#18 Oakland Raiders – L.J. Shelton
Shelton has had a decent career, and would be an upgrade over the original pick of Matt Stinchcomb.

#19 New York Giants – Antoine Winfield
The G-Men go after solid tackling CB Antoine Winfield.  He has 711 tackles and 18 INTs.  He’s had five 80+ tackle seasons.  

#20 Dallas Cowboys – Rosevelt Colvin
The Cowboys add pass-rush specialist Rosevelt Colvin.  He has 365 tackles and 52.5 Sacks.

#21 Arizona Cardinals – John Tait
With Shelton gone, the Cards grab John Tait to man their offensive line. 

#22 Seattle Seahawks – Aaron Smith
Instead of flopping with Lamar King, the Seahawks grab Pro Bowl DE Aaron Smith.  Smith has 366 tackles and 36.5 Sacks.

#23 Buffalo Bills – Dexter Jackson
The Bills add S Dexter Jackson to beef up their secondary.  He has 460 tackles and 17 INTs.

#24 San Francisco 49ers – Eric Barton
The 49ers go with LB Eric Barton, who has 638 tackles, 18.5 Sacks, and 4 INTs.  He has four 100 tackles seasons.

#25 Green Bay Packers – Mike McKenzie
The Pack orginally got him with the 87th pick, and he caused them a headache as he forced his way out of town, but he gave them five solid years when he collected 287 tackles and 15 INTs.  Overall he has 26 picks.

#26 Jacksonville Jaguars – Marty Booker
The Jags add Pro Bowl WR Marty Booker to team with McCardell and Jimmy Smith.  He has 6311 yards and 34 TDs.  He had a pair of 1000 yard seasons. 

#27 Detroit Lions – Desmond Clark
The Lions give new QB Daunte Culpepper a big target at TE to work with .  The Pro Bowler has 3067 yards and 24 TDs.

#28 New England Patriots – Dat Nguyen
The Pats swung and missed with Andy Katzenmoyer.  The grab the undersized LB Dat Nguyen instead.  Nguyen had 516 tackles, 6 Sacks, and 7 INTs.  He had three 100 tackles seasons.

#29 Minnesota Vikings – Aaron Brooks
I hate to do it, but without Culpepper the Vikes do need a QB.  Michael Vick’s cousin had 20,261 yards, 123 TDs (92 INTs), 1534 Rushing yards and 13 TDs.  He wasn’t the best QB, but he did have four straight 3500+ yard/21+ TD seasons.

#30 Atlanta Falcons – Luke Petitgout
Petitgout has been a solid Tackle for the G-Men for 8 years before going to Tampa Bay.  Atlanta would be happy with him.

#31 Denver Broncos – Chris Claiborne
He’s no Al Wilson, but Claiborne is a serviceable LB.  He had 570 tackles, 15 Sacks, and 8 INTs.  He had three straight 100+ tackle seasons.

Previous Re-Mixes
2000 Re-mix
2001 Re-mix
2002 Re-mix
2003 Re-mix

Well, it’s my wife’s due date today.  Still holding out.  We’ll see.  It was another busy sports week.

Once again the Celtics couldn’t get it done on the road as LeBron (32 points, 12 rebounds, 6 assists) forced Game 7.   The Lakers showed they have what it takes to win on the road (in the toughest building no less) as they sent Utah packing in Game 6 behind Kobe’s 34 points.  Andrew Bynum is having knee surgery.  Paul Pierce’s 41 points trumped LeBron’s 45 as the Celtics beat the Cavs in Game 7.  You can’t count them out until they are out.  New Orleans couldn’t take care of business at home in Game 7 and San Antonio advanced to face the Lakers.  Kobe can’t be happy.  The Bulls beat the odds and won the NBA Lottery.  I’m sorry, but that system is broke.  If you can’t trust your teams won’t tank, there are bigger problems with your league than just bad refs.  Sorry.  The Celtics continued their home cooking by taking Detroit out in Game 1.  The Big Two (KG & Pierce) led the way.  Kobe’s 27 points helped lead the Lakers to a Game 1 win over Tim Duncan (30 points, 18 rebounds) and the Spurs.  It appears the Celtics can be beat at home.  Rip Hamilton led the way with 25 points.  The Big 3 (Ray Allen’s milk carton campaign must have worked) scored 75, but they got nothing from the bench.

Dallas won Game 5 to get back in the series.  The still trail 3 Games to 2.  Pittsburgh sent Philly packing 6-0 to win the series 4 games to 1.  Detroit said enough is enough as they sent Dallas packing, earning them a date with Pittsburgh in the Stanley Cup Finals.  The Bruins signed D Aaron Ward to a contract extension.  Jeremy Roenick will play again next year with San Jose.  Still waiting for the Stanley Cup Finals to get going.  Vancouver gave Coach Alain Vigneault a contract extension.  Colorado is going wiih Tony Granato as their new Coach.  Dallas gave co-GMs Brett Hull and Les Jackson three-year extensions.

Friday:  Jayson Werth hit 3 HRs and had 8 RBI for the Phillies.  Alfonso Soriano and Josh Hamilton each hit a pair of HRs.  The Cards put Jason Isringhausen on the DL.  Saturday:  Soriano smashed two more HRs.  Rod Barajas hit a pair of HRs, one a Grand Slam.  Sunday:  Randy Johnson won his 288th career game.  Big Papi, Ryan Bruan, Mike Napoli, and Orlando Cabrera,  hit a pair of HRs.  Monday:  Jon Lester fired a no-hitter.  Jacque Jones signed with Florida.  Albert Pujols and Frank Thomas each hit a pair of HRs.  Tuesday:  A-Rod is back in the lineup. He hit a HR.  Mike Piazza called it quits.  Hunter Pence hit a Grand Slam.  Wednesday:  Brandon Webb finally lost.  Ryan Howard, Jack Cust, Vladimir Guerrero, and Jermaine Dye each hit a pair of HRs.  Bartolo Colon won for Boston.  Marcus Thames hit a Grand Slam.  Thursday:  J.D. Drew and Mike Lowell both hit Grand Slams.  Moises Alou returned to the DL.  Ken Griffey, Jr. hit HR #598.

The Bengals released Odell Thurman.  Dan Morgan retired.  Dallas signed Marion Barber III and Terence Newman to long-term deals.  The Raiders cut S Stuart Schweigert.  Mike Keenan is the new Cleveland Browns President.  The Raiders signed QB Marques Tuiasosopo.
Florida State WR Preston Parker was suspended two games after pleading guilty to misdemeanor gun charges.  Clemson LB Cortney Vincent will miss the 2008 season (suspension) and their WR Jeff Ogren is transferring. 
Iowa’s Tony Freeman is transferring to Southern Illinois.  Akron’s Rydell Brooks was arrested for shooting at police.  Unfortunately it wasn’t baskets.  Providence G Dwain Williams is transferring to Long Beach State.  Indiana kicked F Brandon McGee to the curb.

Big Brown took the Preakness.
Ryuji Imada won the AT & T Classic.
Kasey Kahne won NASCAR’s All-Star Challenge.  The Indy 500 is this weekend. 
That concludes the Tidbits. As always feel free to add any stories you liked this week in sports or discuss any of the stories I mentioned.
Thanks again for supporting my blog. Be sure to check out Links for some great websites.

 | Posted by | Categories: MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL | Tagged: MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL |

Since my wife will give birth to our second child any day now, I figured I’d post some oldies but goodies from my Sporting News vault.  This is a spoof so I hope nobody takes offense.

Well, we have a special treat for you today boys and girls. We are going to get a glimspe into Adam Pacman Jones’ new crib. Sure, you’ve seen his mansion and cars on MTV Cribs, but only on TSN Cribs can you get a picture of how he’s living today.

Security is an important part of Pacman’s crib. In fact you’ll notice his entire crib is surrounded by bars. You have to sign in and pass through security to enter the crib, and you’re only allowed access to designated parts of the crib. Only his roommate “Bubba” and his guards are allowed to enter the crib. He hasn’t been here long so you’ll notice there isn’t any decorations on the walls except for the postcard that Vince Young sent him that says “Nice knowing you”.

Pacman is adjusting to his new bed. He no longer has a need for his king size Sleep Number bed. He’s going old school with a twin size bunk bed. Since Bubba is much bigger than Pacman, he has chosen the bottom bunk. No silk sheets for Pacman on this bed. He has standard issue white sheets with an itchy gray blanket. One small pillow is all he has to work with.

Now on to the bathroom. Just steps away from the bed is a toilet, which is very convenient. There are no doors for the bathroom so he has to get used to going in public. No Charmin rolls here. Only the paper thin, virtually see-through toilet paper is provided. Next to the toilet is a sink where Pacman brushes his gold teeth. There is no mirror in the bathroom for safety reasons. No medicine cabinet either.

Now on to the dining room. The dining room is huge. It holds 2000 people. You grab a tray and make your way down the food line. The food is not gourmet, but occasionally it’s warm. Since the security is maximum, there are no forks and knives to use. Everything must be eaten with a spoon or your fingers. You only get one trip in the line so if you spill your food, you’re pretty screwed. There are no bottles of Cristal flowing. Alcohol is forbidden in Pacman’s crib.

Finally, we’ll take a tour of the yard. It is also fenced in with armed guards. There are tracking dogs in case someone gets “lost”. There are plenty of weights to work out with here. Often Pacman puts together a pick up football game. Pacman is always one captain, while Chris Henry is typically the other. If Pacman isn’t in the mood to lift or play football, he can always go the craft room and make license plates.

Well, it’s time for roll call. I better get out of here before the place goes on lockdown. Thanks for the interview Pacman. See you in 5-10 years pal.

Past Cribs
John Madden
Dick Vitale
Pete Rose
Tonya Harding

Let’s face it.  When your the NBA and in the middle of a gambling scandal, your reputation is on shaky ground.  Your credibility is such that you have to have a draft lottery to keep teams from tanking (they do anyway – ahem Minnesota a few years ago).  How are we supposed to respect a product when you can’t even trust your teams to do the right thing.  I understand that with five starters and a smaller rosters, a single player can make more of an impact on an NBA team than an NFL one.  However, you can’t tell me you’re unable police a handful of teams to make sure they are on the up and up.  If you can’t do that, how can we expect you to keep your refs in line.  Not to mention doing away with the lottery removes the conspiracy theories about rigged drafts.  I, for one, would like to see the actual selection take place.  Sorry, I’m not big on trusting a league that is so secretive.  You say its for suspense and drama, but come on.  I’m not buying it.  Adapt the NFL’s reverese record for determining draft picks.

Don’t get all high and mighty NFL.  You have your own problems.  Did you happen to see the contrat that Matt Ryan signed with Atlanta.  I think he has enough to spring Michael Vick from jail.  I don’t understand how a rookie coming into the league can make more than Pro Bowlers at the same position.  Sorry, that doesn’t sit well with me.  I understand the window to make a living in the NFL isn’t open very long, but there has to be a better way.  How about coming up with some sort of slot like the NBA does.  I know different positions make different monies so it will be complicated.  The NFL has a full year and plenty of money to throw talented people at this problem to come up with a viable solution.  I don’t care if it’s complicated.  I just want to know that Jake Long isn’t making as much as Walter Jones or McFadden pulling in more than Brian Westbrook.  Even if the perfect solution isn’t discovered right away, at least doing something will bring you closer to it.  Something has got to give. 

 | Posted by | Categories: NBA, NFL | Tagged: Matt Ryan, NBA, NFL Draft, NFL. NBA Draft |

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