Fantasy Football Cage Match – Peyton Manning
We’re going to try something a little different here at LestersLegends today. I have asked a couple of friends to put their two cents in. I did it in part because they are solid fantasy football minds, but mainly because their off-the-wall twisted humor should give you a unique perspective when you’re prepping for the fantasy football season.
The Fantasy Cage Match (of the Century, Decade, Day, or Minute, etc.)
Awesome vs. Captain Fantastic
In a no holds barred – they may even rip on each other’s children—contest of wit and sarcasm (or lack thereof), in a 15 foot tall steel cage laced with barbed wire and surrounded by super-hot, scantily clad Terrorist chicks ready to douse the loser with anthrax. (Pause for mental image to set in). Who will win? I think it was JFK or Jesus who said: It’s not whether you win or lose, but how many people you step on and offend during the course of the game.
“I may not be right, I’m not politically correct, and I’m probably going to offend you in some way, but I’m always AWESOME.”
Player: Peyton Manning
Ok, so when we do these things, these “Fantasy Cage Matches” as I’ve come to call them (it took all of 12 seconds to come up with that brilliant bit of marketing, and if I use my imagination, I can think of waaaay more interesting people to put in a cage, but that’s another topic for another day), we try and make it challenging, ideally for both arguments. The general presumption is that you, the informed reader/fantasy junkie, have at least an IQ of, say 125, and that you’re not looking for what everyone else is saying (with maybe the exception of Fanball. Maybe ). We try to pick players that are still “on the fence” in your mind. Obviously, something has gone terribly awry here.
If you think I would want waste my time writing about how Peyton Manning is one of the best QBs in fantasy football (and in the history of the NFL), you’ve come to the wrong place (Starbucks is around the corner), because anyone with half a brain knows that already. This is obviously my counterpart’s selection, in that he wanted the challenge of taking the “con” argument for (or against, as it were) Payton Manning, which, I’ll give him, is certainly a challenge.
What he isn’t taking into account is that I’m not going to waste anyone’s time (especially mine) telling you how great Peyton Manning is, and why he should be your #1 or #2 QB (#1 if you want the sure thing, #2 if you’re willing to risk it that Brady can/’t repeat).
HE’S PEYTON FREAKING MANNING. There’s nothing else to say.
I hope he makes an interesting case for why you shouldn’t want him on your team. Honestly, I can’t see how he could make you believe it, but he may make it interesting.
Captain Fantastic, as always, nice work. Keep it up. You make me look good, and I love that.
This article is over.
The Fantasy Football Cage Match:
Player: Peyton Manning
By: Captain Fantastic
Betting against Peyton is like finding faith and choosing scientology. Everyone is bound to think you have gone loony toons. I balk at the fact I have to say something bad about a guy with a dopey looking brother, a retard redneck father and a muti-million dollar bank account. I think this is the year that Jim Sorgi follows through with the plan which will find Peyton stuck in North Korea wearing an I heart Osama Bin Laden tee shirt.
Well, I’ll rule this one an incomplete because neither combatants decided to take the con approach. Talk about a bunch of wimps. Wait, what’s this? Doing a Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka leap from the top of the cage is “The Legend”. Since either you guys are too scared to take the con stance or too dumb to understand the difference between a pro and a con, I’ll take it from here.
You can draft Peyton Manning if you want to, but that’s like guaranteeing you won’t win your fantasy championship. Sure, you’ll have a good regular season record, but when it comes time to lift the trophy, you’ll be sulking at what could have been.