Tiger Woods Commercial

9 April 2010

This is priceless.

There are a few more here, but this is by far my favorite.

I’m not a huge golf fan. I usually root for Tiger to win simply because I’d like to see him make a run at Jack Nickalaus’ record. I became annoyed with all the Tiger coverage. He cheated on his wife. Countless athletes, entertainers, and even regular Joes do that every day. It’s not my business. I actually was rooting for him to win the Masters  just to shut everybody up.

That was until I saw his Nike ad. He brings out a video of him staring at the screen looking like a guy who just got busted in a big lie. Feel sorry for me. Listen to my dead father and feel even more sorry for me. Come on Tiger. Don’t drag your dad into this, even though he was unfaithful. Be a man and take your lumps.

Now I’m rooting for Phil Mickelson.

Day 2 Update:  
Tiger finished day two at -6. Ian Poulter and Lee Westwood share the lead at -8.

In an effort to stay ahead of the story so I don’t suffer the fate of Tiger Woods, I am going to beat Joslyn James to the punch by posting my text messages to her. Unfortunately her texts to me were somehow erased. How convenient. Anyway, here are some of the texts I wrote to Joslyn.

- I know you have first waiver priority. If you pick up Jamaal Charles I’m going to slap you.

- I want to do a three-way trade with you and a friend you trust. Does that interest you?

- My team is going to crush yours this weekend. With Felix Hernandez and Jon Lester going, I’m pretty much going to pee on you. Ever have that happen to you before? Morbid curiosity.

- When LeBron James gets his triple-double, my team is going to hold you down and choke you.

I’m glad I was able to get this up before I was blindsided.

Tiger & Elin Photos

17 December 2009

In the wake of the news that Elin will file for divorce (click here for ESPN’s article), I present you some photos you won’t see any time soon.

Elin smiling
You would think she’d be smiling because of the payday she’ll receive, but if she had her druthers, she’d like to have her old life back.

Tiger & Elin Presidents Cup
Yeah, I don’t see them walking hand in hand any time soon.

Tiger & Elin Hug
If Elin were to hug Tiger now, it would be with one arm and it would be more of a choke hold than an embrace.

Images courtesy of Icon SMI

2009 US Open

Lucas Glover hung on to win the 2009 U.S. Open.  He wasn’t brilliant shooting a +3, but did enough to earn the victory.

Phil Mickelson made a run, but bogeyed the 15th and 17th to finish even.  Considering the limited amount of play Phil has had since his wife Amy was diagnosed with breast cancer, Phil’s play was remarkable.

Tiger Woods was one under to finish four strokes back.

David Duval was in the running, but was one over for the day to finish two strokes back.

Ricky Barnes entered the last round as the leader, but shot a +6 to finish two strokes back.

Ross Fisher was the top European finisher at -1.

2009 U.S. Open

16 June 2009

2009 US Open

For the first time in recent history Tiger Woods will not be the sentimental favorite for a major.  When the best golfers in the world tee off at Bethpage State Park (Black Course) in Farmingdale, NY, Phil Mickelson will have the heart of the country behind him.  His wife Amy was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and after a short break to be by his wife’s side, he rejoined the tour last week for the St. Jude Classic.  Phil was off to a great start entering Sunday at -4.  He shot a 75 (+5) to finish tied for 59th at one over.  Not bad for a rusty guy.  Brian Gay ran away from the field with a -18, five strokes better than runner ups David Toms and Bryce Molder.

Tiger and PhilImage courtesy of Icon SMI

The U.S. Open will be about Tiger and Phil initially though.  Tiger won last year’s Open in dramatic fashion over Rocco Mediate despite playing on an injured knee.  With a little luck the two will be paired up on Sunday in a match for the ages.  This time America will be on Phil’s side.

Today’s project is to step outside of the box and pick some athletes that would have made great contestants on past or present Game Shows.

Press Your Luck
This was a game show I enjoyed watching as a kid.  Contestants would try to win cash and prizes from a video board.  The key would be to avoid the Whammy.  Sometimes you had to gamble a bit to beat your opponent, which is why Pete Rose and his stellar bowl cut hairdo would be a natural fit.  I’d love to see Bobby Knight be the other contestant.  Can you imagine Coach Knight blowing his cool when that darn Whammy hit?

The Family Feud
This was another one of my favorites.  It pitted two families against each other to see who could come up with the most popular answers to random questions.  I would love to see Felipe Alou, Jesus Alou, Matty Alou, Moises Alou, and Mel Rojas square off against Ray Boone, Bob Boone, Bret Boone, Aaron Boone, and Rod Boone for MLB family supremacy.  In the Baseball Edition of the Family Feud, Bob Eucker would fill in as the Guest Host.

The Newlywed Game
I’d like to see the Sports Edition of this classic couples Game Show.  Couple #1 is Marko Jaric and Adriana Lima.  Couple #2 is Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren.  Couple #3 is none other than Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen.  In this version of the game the guys are asked to go backstage, but they are never brought back.


Adriana Lima Photo courtesy of Anthony J Causi/Icon SMI
Marko Jaric Photo courtesy of  Anderson Public Relations Group

elin-nordegren tiger-woods
Images courtesy of Icon SMI

gisele-bundchen tom-brady
Images courtesy of Icon SMI

Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?
This is a newer game show, but would still be entertaining.  The first contestant would be Pacman Jones.  We’ll start with Spelling.  Pacman, please spell Criminal.  “OK, C-R-I-M-I-N-I-L.”  I’m sorry Pacman, that’s incorrect.  Let’s try a math question.  If you made $70K  rain at a Gentleman’s Club and Picked up $50K, how much would be missing?  “That’s easy.  Enough money to make me bust a cap in someone’s ass.”  I’m sorry Pacman, you have to be more specific.  Tune in next week as Mike Tyson showcases his intellect.

The Dating Game
Sean Avery
would be the perfect contestant for this game.  He would first go on a date with all three girls, and then other NHL players could have his sloppy seconds.  If the show wasn’t cancelled after the Avery episode, Derek Jeter would be another good contestant.

Let’s Make a Deal
The Studio Audience was known to dress up in some outlandish costumes.  Couldn’t you just see Dennis Rodman in the audience with with some sort of leopard print body suit, a pink feather boa, and a white Fedora?  Larry Johnson is also in the crowd trying to reprise his Grandmama role.

Hollywood Squares
Shaq
would be a natural Center Square.  He always has great one-liners.  Charles Barkley, Yogi Berra, Curt Schilling, Michael Strahan, Reggie Miller, Magic Johnson, Mark Grace and Rickey Henderson would occupy the remaining squares.

Friday Tidbits 6/20/08

20 June 2008


The Lakers took Game 5 from the Celtics.  A steal, which was totally a foul, by Kobe sealed the deal for the Lakers.  I can see in traffic getting away with a foul, but missing it in the open court in inexcusable.  Kevin Garnett was useless on offense.  The Celtics hammered the Lakers at home to take home the franchise’s 17th NBA Title.  Paul Pierce was the MVP.  Ray Allen and KG had great games in the clincher.  Carmelo Anthony was named to the Olympic team.  Toronto cut Jorge Garbajosa.
 

Willie Randolph was cowardly fired in the middle of the night.  I wonder if it came via text message.  Mike Mussina won 260th career game, which gave him 10 on the year, which he’s done for 17th straight years.  His teammate didn’t have the same good fortunes as Chien-Ming Wang will miss several months to a foot injury.  The Mariners fired GM Bill Bavasi.  Signing Carlos Silva to a four-year, $48 million deal will put your head on the chopping block.  They didn’t stop they.  The M’s also fired Manager John McLaren.  Detroit brought P Fernando Rodney off the DL.  One man’s (Texas Rangers) trash (Sidney Ponson) is another man’s (Yankees)…err….trash.  The Yanks signed Ponson to help fill the void Wang’s injury created.  The Yanks have won 7 straight.  The Rays signed their top pick.
 

Chad Johnson finally took part in practice.  Later he had ankle surgery.  Former teammate Chris Henry won’t be playing at time soon.  He was suspended for being an idiot.  Javon Walker was robbed in Vegas.  No word on Cedric Benson’s whereabouts during the crime.  Rosevelt Colvin signed with the Texans.  Chicago signed Tommie Harris to a four-year, $40 million extension.
 

Alexander Ovechkin won the Hart Trophy (MVP), Art Ross Trophy (Points), Maurice Richard Trophy (Goals), and the Lester B. Pearson Award (Most Outstanding).  Nicklas Lidstrom won the James Norris Memorial Trophy (Defenseman).  Patrick Kane won the Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie).  Pavel Datsyuk won the Frank J. Selke Trophy (Defensive Forward) and the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Sportmanship).  Bruce Boudreau wont the Jack Adams Award (Coach).  Chris Osgoood and Dominik Hasek won the William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie).  Florida hired Peter DeBoer to be their next Coach.  Pittsburgh offered G Marc-Andre Fleury arbitration.  Nashville signed D Ryan Suter to a four-year deal worth $14 million.  Philly traded the rights to LW Vaclav Prospal to Tampa Bay for a late draft pick.  Igor Larionov, Glenn Anderson, Ray Scapinello and Ed Chynoweth were elected to the Hockey Hall ofa Fame.
  
 
BYU’s Lee Cummard, UNC’s Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington, and Danny Green, Texas’ A.J. Abrams, Cal State-Fullerton’s Josh Akognon, Memphis’ Robert Dozier, Tennessee-Martin’s Lester Hudson, Gonzaga’s Jeremy Pargo, Alabama’s Ronald Steele, UAB’s Robert Vaden, and Arizona’s Chase Budinger will return to school after flirting with the NBA Draft.  Coach Jeff Reynolds signed a five-year deal with Air Force.  Southeast Missouri got placed on probation for two years by the NCAA.

 
Arkansas State suspended RB Preston Brown and DB Marlon Douglas for the season for violations.  Notre Dame will remain on NBC through the 2015 season.  Oh joy.

 
Tiger Woods celebrated his first Father’s Day with a dramatic putt on 18 to send the U.S. Open to a playoff.  After 90 holes Tiger and Rocco Mediate remained even.  In the first round of sudden death, Tiger was able to capture his 14th major.  Hey Jack.  Tigers in your rear view mirror are closer than they appear.  Unfortnately for Tiger, his season is over as he’ll have another knee surgery to repair his torn ACL and stress fractures.
 
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. won the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Michigan International Speedway, which is pretty cool because it was on Father’s Day.  Joey Logano won the NASCAR Nationwide Series at Kentucky Speedway.

That concludes the Tidbits. As always feel free to add any stories you liked this week in sports or discuss any of the stories I mentioned.
 
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Friday Tidbits 4/18/08

18 April 2008


Jason Kidd notched his 100th career triple-double.  Carmelo got popped for a DUI.  Nice distraction as your team is battling for the final playoff spot.  The Wolves won back-to-back games.  The Sonics won what is most likely their last home game.  Indiana and Golden State lost to eliminate their playoff chances.   Ramon Sessions had 20 points to go along with his 24 assists.  The Lakers took top seed in the West. LeBron won the scoring title.  Boston finished with 66 wins.  The Bulls showed Jim Boylan the door.  Milwaukee did the same for Larry Krystkowiak.


Chris Chelios played in his 248th playoff game, which set an NHL record.  Pittsburgh (over Ottawa) and the Rangers (over the Devils)  jumped out to 2-0 series leads.  Minnesota even their series with a win over Colorado.  Washington took Game 1 against Philly.  Robert Nilsson signed a three-year deal with Edmonton.  Detroit (Nashville) Dallas(Anaheim), and Montreal (Boston) jumped out to 2-0 leads.  Martin Biron and the Flyers blanked Washington to even the series at 1-1.  Boston (Montreal) and New Jersey (Rangers) showed some life by taking game 3.  Calgary stormed back from a 3-0 deficit to take a 2-1 series lead.  Unlike the NBA, the NHL can make rule changes when they want to.  Sean Avery’s stick in Brodeur’s face to distract him was deemed unsportsmanlike.  Instead of waiting until the end of the year to address it, the NHL decided it’s against the rules.  I like it.  Pittsburgh beat Ottawa 4-1 to take a 3-0 series lead.  Nashville scored 3 in the third to take Game 3.  Minnesota used OT (yet again) to take a 2-1 lead over Colorado.  Montreal’s Carey Price shutout Boston 1-0 to take a commanding 3-1 lead in the series.  Philadelphia took Game 3 of their series with Washington for a 2-1 lead.  Anaheim fought back with a 4-2 victory Dallas, who leads 2-1.  San Jose evened their series at 2 with a 3-2 win over Calgary.  Colorado blasted Minnesota 5-1 to even their series at 2 apiece.  Carolina signed Sergei Samsonov to a three-year deal worth $7.6 million.  Vancouver fired GM Dave Nonis.  Pittsburgh swept Ottawa away.  The Rangers buried the Devils to take a 3-1 series lead.  Nashville knocked off Detroit to even their series at 2.  Boston peppered Montreal 5-1 to stay alive.  Montreal has a 3-2 lead.  Philly beat Washington in Double OT to take a 3-1 series lead.  Dallas beat Anaheim in Game 4 to take a 3-1 lead.  Colorado beat Minnesota in Game 5 to take a 3-2 series lead.  San Jose took game 5 and a 3-2 series lead over Calgary.


Randy Johnson’s 285 victory was blown by his relievers.  Hey, at least he was back and pitched well.  The Yankees drew first blood on the Red Sox behind Chien-Ming Wang’s two-hitter.  Carlos Pena, Raul Ibanez, and Jeremy Hermedia hit a pair of HRs last Friday.  Dontrelle Willis hyperextended his knee.  Jeff Francoeur smashed 2 HRs on Saturday.  Roy Halladay fired a complete game.  Dave Roberts had knee surgery and will be out a few months.  Barry Bonds’ last HR ball sold for $370K,  The problem is, there is still a chance someone picks him up to DH later this year or next, making that ball virtually worthless.  Tom Glavine hurt his hamstring in the first inning of his start vs. Washington on Sunday.  Paul Konerko and Joe Crede cranked Grand Slams in the same game. Zack Greinke threw a complete game on Monday to improve to 3-0 with a 0.75 ERA.  Joe Borowski and Eric Bedard landed on the DL.  Ken Griffey, Jr. hit HRs #595 &596.  A-Rod tied and passed Ted Williams and Willie McCovey on the all-time HR list.  Alfonso Soriano landed on the DL.  Edgar Renteria cracked a Grand Slam.  Carlos Zambrano had three hits in a game.  C.C. Sabathia got rocked..again.  Miguel Tejada not only lied about steroids, evidently he lied about his age.  Manny Ramirez and Chipper Jones each smacked a pair of HRs.  Colorado beat San Diego in 22 innings.


Steve McNair is retiring.  It was a good run.  Chad Johnson has demanded a trade.  Housh said Cincy should trade him.Darrell Jackson and Samie Parker signed with the Denver Broncos.  Deuce McAllister reworked his deal to remain a Saint.  Cato June had his DUI charges dropped.  The Chargers will be without LB Stephen Cooper for 4 games due to a substance abuse violation.  Duane Starks signed with the Raiders.  Arizona NT Gabe Watson broke his kneecap when he fell off a treadmill.  Guess he won’t be getting any “Dancing with the Stars” invites.  Jared Allen will visit Minnesota and Tampa Bay, who are speculated to be suitors via trade.  Terrell Suggs showed up for minicamp.  The G-Men are still waiting to hear what Strahan decides.  The Packers will retire Brett Favre’s #4 in the season opener with Minnesota.


Michael Beasley is turning pro.  Derrick Rose will join him.  They figure to be the top two picks in the draft.  Florida F Jonathan Mitchell will transfer.  Tyler Hansbrough won the Wooden Award.  Kentucky G Jodie Meeks had a sports hernia surgery.  Former Duke F Taylor King is transfering to Villanova.  Tennessee Guard J.P. Prince had shoulder surgery.  John Calipari signed an extension with Memphis.  Butler’s Brad Stevens signed a seven-year deal, but I would guess if he continued his success, he’d be moving on.  Gonzaga’s Jeremy Pargo is turning pro.  Kansas State Coach Frank Martin signed a five-year extension.  Psst.  He doesn’t have Beasley anymore.  Kevin Love is turning pro…mistake.  Kansas’ Brandon Rush and Darrell Arthur will turn pro.

Penn State suspended DT Phil Taylor.  Teammate Sean Lee (LB) will miss the year with a torn knee.  Duke suspended OT Cameron Goldberg for a rule violation.

Trevor Immelman earned the Green Jacket by winning the Masters.  What a failure for Tiger Woods as he finished second.  To get sympathy (kidding), he underwent knee surgery, which means he’ll likely miss The Players Championship.  So much for that Grand Slam. 

Jimmie Johnson won the NASCAR Sprint Cup Subway Fresh Fit 500 after his crew chief  gambled on his fuel.

That concludes the Tidbits. As always feel free to add any stories you liked this week in sports or discuss any of the stories I mentioned.

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Friday Tidbits 3/21/08

21 March 2008

kevin-garnett-celtics.jpg
The Rockets beat Charlotte for its 21st straight win.  The Lakers were next for #22.  Boston snapped the streak though.  The Hornets made it two in a row.  They are so streaky.  Chris Paul had 17 assists and Tyson Chandler had 20 rebounds as New Orleans beat the Lakers.  Utah beat Boston to snap their ten game winning streak.  The Wolves beat Seattle and the Clippers.  Carlos Boozer dropped 41 points on New Jersey.  Denver scored 168 points…in one game.  That’s like two games worth for New York.  Marcus Camby had a triple-double.  I’m trying to give the Timberwolves a chance, but their owner is making it very difficult.  I’ve tried to ignore the Country Club he has going on over there where the members (Glen Taylor, Kevin McHale, and Randy Whitman) aren’t held accountable, but try to shift the blame on KG and Flip Saunders.  Funny, that they have both achieved a great deal of success since leaving.  He said KG tanked it last year.  I’m sorry, but a team that allows Mark Madsen to jack up seven three-pointers doesn’t have any legs to stand on.  KG may not be the best 4th quarter player, but he sure as heck gives it his all each and every time out.  He’s too big of a person to call them out on it.  The Country Club makes me sick.  Miami makes its fans sick.  They score 54 points on Wednesday. What are they the Wisconsin Badgers?  Oh wait, they gave up 96. Iverson had 32 in his return to Philly, but the home team had the last laugh.  Dwight Howard had THREE points.  Thanks a lot Dwight.  It’s basically a playoff week for me.  Larry Harris was canned as Milwaukee’s GM.

rick-dipietro.jpg
The Islanders G Rick DiPietro will miss the rest of the season following hip surgery.  Buffalo D Teppo Numminen has rejoined the team following heart surgery.  Chris Pronger was suspended 8 games.for stomping on Ryan Kesler’s leg.  This week’s shutouts:  Montreal’s Jaroslav Halak vs. the Islanders, Minnesota’s Niklas Backstrom vs. the Kings, Tampa’s Mike Smith vs. the Rangers, Columbus’ Fredrik Norrena vs. Detroit.  Chicago’s Nikolai Khabibulin vs. Washington. Buffalo’s Thomas Vanek had a hat trick against Tampa Bay.  Detroit’s Henrik Zetterberg did too as he scored all of the Red Wing goals against Columbus.  Minnesota D Kurtis Foster broke his leg.  Richard Zednik was able to skate on Wednesday.  

deangelo-hall.jpg
Atlanta got rid of a headache by trading DeAngelo Hall to the Raiders for a second round pick.  I’m not even going to mention the ridiculous amount of money Oakland gave him.  The 49ers signed WR Bryant Johnson to a one-year deal.  Derrick Ward re-signed with NY Giants.  Robert Ferguson re-signed with the Vikings.  The Jets signed Bubba Franks.  Carolina signed WR D.J. Hackett to a two-year, $3.5 million deal.  The Eagles signed Ryan Klecko to be their new FB.  The Vikings have added assistant Head Coach to Defensive Coordinator Leslie Frazier’s title.  The Packers signed LB Brandon Chillar.  New England signed Fernando Bryant.  Pittsburgh cut scumbag Cedrick Wilson.  He punched his girlfriend in a restaurant.

 dice-k.jpg
Dice K’s wife had the baby so now he’ll open the season for the Sox in Japan.  Shelly Duncan and Melky Cabrera were suspended three games and Johnny Gomes was suspended two games for their roles in the brawl.  Wily Mo Pena will miss a month with an oblique tear.  Kaz Matsui will miss a couple weeks after having surgery to fix an anal fissure.  I don’t even want to begin to know what that is.  John Lackey will miss a few weeks because of a strained triceps.  The Dodgers bid farewell to Vero Beach.  They’ve been going there 61 years, but will switch to Arizona next year.  The Red Sox threatened to boycott the games in Japan if their coaches and staff didn’t get the money promised to them.  I thought it was a nice gesture.  Joba Chamberlain will start the year off in the bullpen.  Bartolo Colon got sent to the minors.  St. Louis signed P Adam Wainwright to a four-year $15 million deal.  Nomar will miss Opening Day with a broken hand.  The Nationals sent P John Patterson packing.  This isn’t news, but Kerry Wood hurt his back.
 
coach_k.jpg
#2 Duke barely escaped with a win again #15 Belmont.  I was so hoping for the slipper to fit, but Belmont wasn’t Cinderella.  Kansas State beat USC without a huge game from Beasley.  Think the team had heard enough it was a one-man show?  There goes my bracket.  #9 Texas A & M beat #8 BYU.  Hey, there wasn’t many upsets so I had to report it.  Pre-tourney news:  Arkansas beat #17 Vanderbilt in the SEC tourney.  Illinois beat #16 Purdue and Minnesota beat #20 Indiana in the Big Ten tourney.  St. Joe’s beat #12 Xavier in the A-10 tourney.  Pitt beat #24 Marquette in the Big East tourney.  #2 UCLA beat #11 Stanford to win the Pac 10 title.  Arkansas beat #4 Tennessee in the SEC tourney.  #6 Wisconsin beat #19 Michigan State in the Big 10 tourney.  Clemson beat #7 Duke in the ACC tourney.  Pitt beat #9 Georgetown in the Big East tourney. UNLV beat #23 BYU to win the Mountain West tourney.

terrelle-pryor.jpg 
Ohio State landed prize QB Terrelle Pryor.  LSU’s Les Miles’ new deal with the school makes him the highest paid coach in the conference.  Georgia LB Marcus Washington will miss next year after his shoulder surgery.  Sad news to report.  UCF WR Ereck Plancher died during conditioning drills.  Missouri kicked LB Marquis Booker off the team following his arrest for weapons possession.  Virginia Tech kicked RB Branden Ore off the team.

tiger-woods-arnold-palmer-invitational.jpg 
Tiger won again.  He sunk a 25 foot putt to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill.  It was his fifth straight PGA victory and 64th overall to tie him with Ben Hogan.  He’s two back after day one of the CA Championship.

 jeff-burton.jpg
Jeff Burton took home the prize at the Bristol Motor Speedway.  Ken Harvick spun out Tony Stewart to finish second.  Tony Stewart wasn’t pleased.
  
That concludes the Tidbits. As always feel free to add any stories you liked this week in sports or discuss any of the stories I mentioned.
 
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