TSN Cribs – Anna Kournikova

Jun 1, 2008

Here’s an oldie but goodie from my Sporting News vault.  This is a spoof so I hope nobody takes offense. If you enjoy the photos below, you may want to check out Derek Jeter’s hottest girlfriends.

Welcome back to TSN Cribs. We have only showed you one female athlete’s house, and Tonya Harding hardly counts as a female. Well, this week’s guest hardly counts as an athlete. However, we’ll still take the tour.

The front yard is beautiful. There are palm trees and lush green grass. Anna may giving the tour so we’ll ring the door bell. Ding Dong. “Hey guys”. My draw drops to the floor as she answers the door wearing in a cute red bikini. “Welcome to my house. This is the foyer. I have 16th century Russian paintings and a priceless statue of Lenin.” Uh huh Anna. I am mesmerized by her beauty. There could be rat droppings in the foyer, and I wouldn’t notice.

“There is my living room. Feel free to check it out. If you excuse me, I’ll be right back.” I head into the living room. I am noticing the beautiful bay window when Anna comes back. She changed into a maroon bikini. Man, oh man. “I got this from….” I completely tune her out as I am captivated by her soft skin.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll meet you there.” Anna has slipped into a black evening dress. “Do you want a lollipop? I just love them.” My eyes are popping out of my head. I guess I should tell you everything is stainless steel in the kitchen, but I could care less. Anna opens the fridge and bends over. “You want a look in here.” Uh huh. I don’t even notice the contents of the fridge, I just watch her butt sway back and forth.

“Meet me upstairs, and I’ll show you my bathroom.” Anna is sitting on the floor in front of the steps leading up to her bathroom. The bathroom is huge. There is a walk-in steam room, a jacuzzi, dual head showers, you name it. “I’m gonng take a steam. Do you want to join me?”  As tempting as the offer sounds, I’m going to have to pass.  I raise my left hand to show her my wedding ring.  “Your loss” she says.

Now, I’ll show you my bedroom. The bedding is leopard prints. She just seems like that kind of girl. “Let me dim the lights.” Man, those are some bedroom eyes. There’s furniture and windows and the bed. Man, I can’t stay focused.

Let’s go out back. Anna’s house is right on the ocean with a beautiful beach in the back. Anna comes out in an amazing yellow bikini. “I got some sand in my bikini. Can you help get it out?” I glance at her and tell her I have to leave. That’s a wrap. See ya next time on TSN Cribs.

Past Cribs
John Madden
Dick Vitale
Pete Rose
Tonya Harding
Pacman Jones
Wilt Chamberlain
ick Saban
Barry Bonds
Kevin Garnett
Mike Tyson
O.J. Simpson

Michael Vick
Todd Bertuzzi
Kobe Bryant

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